Managing the bully boss

Various surveys in numerous countries all seem to indicate that the ‘bully boss’ is quite a common phenomenon.

Many people would say that the bully boss, whether the male or female version, is one of the most odious creatures in the corporate jungle.

If you are in a senior position, and you have managers with their own staff teams, reporting to you, you have an obligation to monitor bullying. If one of your managers is bullying his or her staff, you need to act.

Neither men nor women nor juniors should have to put up with a bully boss. They should not have to put up with the humiliation and intimidation. 

Many victims of bully bosses say the emotional wounds last long after the work day is over, and can even affect marriages and children. Employees of bully bosses describe the experience as "an emotional slaughter"... "he makes us feel like naughty children"... "she lies right to your face."

Spouting four-letter words, calling names, threatening others with physical violence, there is no place for any of this in the workplace. And if you turn a blind eye to this sort of treatment being belted out by managers who report to you, you are falling down in your responsibilities.

Bullies are people who have discovered, probably while they were at school, that they could maximise their share of what they wanted by being aggressive.

They are easily recognised by recruiting staff that are, alas, unlikely to block them. If tackled about their behaviour on the job, the bully manager will quickly duck behind corporate nonsense such as "I get paid for results and not for being nice" or "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen".

Aggressive managers are usually very high on control so their management style is "my way or the door way".

Often they are very bright workers. And therein lies the problem. They make a significant contribution to the company as workers. They get promoted because of their technical expertise. Then they wind up supervising others, and spew on people in support functions and people who report to them.

There are suggestions that they are especially rampant in high-tech companies, engineering firms, and financial organisations - a stock fund manager doing an incredible job with investments, for example. The typical successful bully thinks, “they won't do anything to me - I'm the best they've got."

In dealing with a bully it is important to push back. In response to their bad behaviour, you need to respond assertively as soon as you become aware of the bullying. Most bullies will start to push gently and then gradually increase pressure. Bullies most often respond best to being bullied so being assertive is the best approach. They might not like you, but they will respect you and they will stop the bullying.

In dealing with a bully boss in the act of bullying, a good technique is to put the problem back on him or her. For example, if you are given an epithet such as "you're stupid" or "you're hopeless" you could respond with: "That's an interesting comment. I wonder why you felt obliged to make it." This puts the problem back on your boss. Or you can use the agreement technique "You could be right. However, my track record says I am good at x,y,z". The fact that you have a track record attests to your intelligence and not your stupidity.